Sunday, December 31, 2006

A Dougie Rants Noose Alert !!!

Saddam Hussein's life has ended. Hanged by the neck until dead. A fitting end to life for this monster, who never showed remorse, murdered countless thousands of people, including members of his own family, and remained defiant until the end.

And, I have heard very little from those who oppose capital punishment. No one has come forward advocating mercy and rehabilitation. No one has suggested that none of this was really his fault, that he was a victim of society. No one has asked for years of endless appeals. Or should I say 'yet'? Maybe a little bit of that good Texas criminal law rubbed off on those people. So, maybe this was a good thing. Get it over with quickly. No use in just hanging around when you're at the end of your rope (so to speak). Okay, that was tacky, but I am personally finding it very difficult to think good thoughts for this very evil creature. Chalk it up to human failng, if you will. The world is a better place without him.

But, if you will take a moment to remember, let's revisit the day our troops found Saddam cowering in a 'spider hole', trying desparately to avoid capture. President Bush told America, "Now, the former dictator of Iraq will face the justice he denied to millions. For the vast majority of Iraqi citizens, the torture chambers and the secret police are gone forever".

Enter one Howard Dean: "The capture of Saddam has not made America safer...". Then neither did the defeat of Hitler, Tojo or Mussoulini. Right!

Enter one John Kerry: "Saddam's capture is an important step toward stabilizing Iraq for the Iraqis"...but then went on to disparage the Bush administration.

The list goes on, and on, and on, and...

The bottom line is this: Had the United States of America followed the path of these great thinkers, Saddam Hussein would still be alive today. He would still be in power today. He would still be the brutal, murdering dictator of Iraq, training suicide bombers to kill Americans, offering a safe haven to terrorists, and the turmoil in the middle east would be no closer to resolve.

This is not to say we do not have huge problems facing us, for we surely do. This is not to say we do not need to re-think our strategies for victory, for we surely must. But, what we must NOT do is lose our resolve in the winds of discontent spawned by the 'political correctness' advocates. We can win the war against terrorism only by remaining united in our cause.

We must 'shut off' the discourse of discontent that is dividing us. And that will become a much more difficult challenge when the leadership of the House and Senate changes hands in January. The rhetoric of the left will then become 'official'. So watch, listen, and be vocal. These folks only need to be around for two years, then we can send them packing. And, don't be overly kind to the folks on the right side of the aisle, either. It seems it is becoming more and more difficult to tell the difference between the left and the right. And that ain't good!

Friday, December 22, 2006

Decisions! Decisions! Decisions !

Decisions, decisions, decisions! Oh, what to do? Sometimes our lives come to a point when we only have so much time to devote to certain things, and we must make hard, fast decisions as to how best use that time. This happened to me this past week, and I had to decide how to best use what little time I had available. My son Larry calls these little time frames "windows'. Here was my dilemma: Do I watch the "View", or do I pull out my thumb nails? As they say in real estate, "Time is of the essence". Oh, what to do?

The doctor said my thumbs, although very sore, are doing fine and, in just a few short months, should be completely healed. The nails WILL grow back in due time. This is a good thing.

Okay, I didn't really pull out my thumb nails. I just wanted to make a point, which is: Why anyone would want to actually sit and watch that show is beyond me. Or even watch it standing up. Rosie O'Donnell is, in my humble opinion, a very disgusting person. I say this, not because of her lifestyle (that is strictly between her and God), but because of what emits from her mouth. She is, quite obviously, not a happy person, and that is sad. She is not physically attractive, which she cannot help anymore than I can help it that I don't look more like Sean Connerly, but, also quite sadly, I find her un-attractive on the inside, too. She can be quite vicious unless you happen to agree with her on every issue. And, she is now the dominant personality on the show.

Back to this week. I didn't actually watch the "View", but there was no way to escape it if a person watched any TV news at all. It was everywhere! Hillary was on one day trying to convince the world she was really a nice person who wanted to be the first 'Mom' to run for president. Give me a break! Then I heard she was re-releasing her book entitled "It Takes a Village to Have an Idiot", or something like that. Then we had Rosie and Donald Trump lock horns, both acting like nine year olds. Wow, the drama was completely underwhelming! Who cares?

There is, however, possible good news in all of this: If a person could actually get caught up in this whirlwind world of non-reality, the problems of the real world could just go away. Think about it. No more terrorism, no more political correctness. No more ACLU (we could then have God back in our culture). No more illness or disease or hunger or lonliness. The world would be at peace. We could all, then, just 'get along' and everything would come up roses!

Or is that Rosie?

Sunday, December 17, 2006

"And Man Will Live For Evermore, Because Of Christmas Day"

I have a friend in New Zealand. In fact, in Christ Church, New Zealand. What a wonderful name for a city! In fact, again, I have several friends in New Zealand. New friends, perhaps, but the bond has been forged. We all met at a wedding in Carmel Valley, California in June. Remarkably warm, fun, and devoutly Christian people, they will be in my life, heart and mind from now on, even though we have no guarantee of ever overcoming the geography that separates us. We are, however, able to stay connected by e-mail until...who knows?

I single out one friend here, in particular, because he sent me an e-mail written by a man from Wellington, New Zealand by the name of Nigel Irwin. He is the author of the incredibly wonderful piece of writing that follows, and he has graciously granted me permission to share it with you here. It is timely. It is true. And it shares the lament of people from two completely different parts of the world who are saddened by the total commercialization of what should be our most sacred holiday:

“And man will live for evermore, because of Christmas Day.”

The Calypso Carol hints at the enormous significance of the day we celebrate
as Christ’s birthday. Yet as I heard it on a popular, mainstream radio
station this morning, I saw no-one stopping to consider what those words
mean, no-one pausing in gratitude and certainly no-one smiling and singing
along.

There are 10 days now until Christmas Day. I’m trying my best to be numb to
the materialism, hype and manic busy-ness of Christmas this year – trying
instead to consider deeply and often, the immense implications of a King
born to us, by His virgin mother and eternal Father.

You can stand back and observe what happens to people at Christmas – and it
is both fascinating and quite sad. Firstly, the wallets, cheque-books and credit-cards come out. Spending in NZ goes through the proverbial roof throughout December in preparation of mass gift-exchanging and indulgent overeating/drinking to take
place on Dec 25. People crowd into shopping malls and supermarkets, elbowing
their way through crowds as they amass their merchandise haul. Most will have faces
set in stone, teeth gritted and jaws set as they determinedly strive to get
this madness over with as quickly as possible.

There is incredible pressure on families at Christmas time. I know, it is nothing new, but the more I think about it, the more I am saddened by it. Finance companies do a roaring trade at Christmas as cash-strapped families take out loans to pay for Christmas gifts and season fare. Their repayments often take them through until the following Christmas and sometimes beyond, until they end up operating on a revolving line of credit… just for Christmas.

Inevitably, some families crack under the pressure – Woman’s Refuge shelters fill up, couples separate and divorce, and the children who unwittingly become embroiled in all of this, learn that along with Christmas stockings and brightly wrapped boxes under the tree, come harsh words, arguments, violence and tension.

All, in the name of Christmas.

On the radio the other day, the DJ implored his listeners to remember what Christmas was really all about – the big guy in the red suit, delivering cheer and goodwill. Since red suits don’t seem to be the logical apparel of a nomadic Prophet, I am forced to believe this DJ was referring to Santa Claus. Oh the pity of it.

I try not to be so precious and jealous with Christian festivals and holidays, but it really brasses me off that the greater population can take Christmas, the celebration of hope born to mankind, and turn it into a frenzied mish-mash of busy-ness, debt, tension, drunkenness, consumerism, and materialism.

Somehow we’ve allowed ourselves to put aside the most precious Christmas gift ever given – the gift of eternal hope and extravagant love. Like a young child sitting under the Christmas tree, we’ve unwrapped the Christ-child and immediately cast Him aside, choosing instead to play with brightly-coloured wrapping paper that will add to tomorrow’s trash.

It feels great to give quality gifts. I can imagine the smile on God’s face as He prepared His Son for us – knowing how good indeed, this gift would be. I also imagine that smile turn into desperate sadness as He then watches us completely miss the point and turn Christmas into the very thing
it was NOT designed to be.

“And man will live for evermore, because of Christmas Day.”

That is the real gift. Hope eternal, life everlasting. I hope and pray you will all take time out to dwell on this, and experience true joy and richest blessings - to all of you, I wish a Christ-filled Christmas!

Nigel Irwin

Thursday, December 07, 2006

True Peace Is Not The Absence Of War...

'True peace is not the absence of war, it is the absence of evil'. This simple little statement is where conservatives and liberals part company. It is so incredibly profound it tells us volumes about the difference between the conservative and liberal philosophies. HELLO, I AM NOT SAYING THAT ALL LIBERALS ARE NECESSARILY EVIL. OKAY? THEY ARE NOT! OKAY? What I am saying is, in my humble opinion, the liberal agenda does not allow for this type of mindset. In the liberal agenda, war is war, peace is peace, and evil simply does not enter into the equation. If, indeed, evil DID enter into the equation, then both conservatives and liberals would be on the same page when it comes to our national security. And, in case you haven't noticed, THEY AIN'T!

George W. Bush, to his credit, identified terrorism as evil. He recognized the simple fact that the only way to deal with terrorism is to destroy the roots of evil behind it. Has he done this without mistakes? No, he has not. Did he promise it would be over quickly? No, he did not. To the contrary, he warned our country that this war could last for many years, although it seems the liberals have conveniently forgotten that part of the speech.

There has never been a war fought without mistakes and there never will be. We lost 11,000 soldiers in ONE DAY when our troops went ashore at Normandy. Were mistakes made? You betcha! Were there unforseen circumstances? You betcha! War is a nasty, vile business. Sadly, people will die. But what are the options? Surrender? Bury our collective heads in the sand, just hoping this will all go away? Negotiate? Get real.

During the 1990's, our then sitting President (I am assuming he did sit up at least once in a while) was faced with many terrorist attacks during his tenure in office. He chose to avoid war, choosing instead to attempt to arrest, prosecute and imprison the bad guys. History bears out that this was mere political folly. We lost hundreds and hundreds of people while the terrorist community laughed in our faces.

Former President Jimmy Carter lashed out at George W. Bush for his wonderfully inspiring "axis of evil" speech. He was afraid Bush had hurt the feelings of the North Koreans, the Iranians, and Saddam Hussein. He said, "It will take years before we can repair the damage of that statement". Can you say ridiculous? This, from the same man who's presidency became a laughing stock when Iran held American citizens hostage for 444 days. It is incomrehensible to me how a person could do nothing but wring his hands for that many days and not break something.

To the Clinton administration's credit, they did kick the Branch Davidian's butts in Waco. Another tragic piece of misguided American history. And don't forget about little Elian Gonzalez. Janet Reno sure showed him a thing or two! Where was this tough resolve when it would have meant something? Pick on little kids and religious fanatics, but don't go after the terrorists who blew a hole in the side of the USS Cole, killing many of our finest young men. This is totally, completely indefensible!

These are the facts. This is all true and documented stuff. And, I could go on for several hundred more pages, but what's the use? If I haven't made my point by now I never will.

This is not about the economy, or the deficit, or building new roads. This is about the very survival of our nation, our life style, our freedom and the freedom of those who will follow us. And, for some sad, scary reason, it seems our country has seen fit to bring these people back to power. And their idea of peace simply cannot, and will not, endure the test of time. May God save us all.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

'Tis The Season!

It is the time of year, again, when we should all try to put our differences aside and come together as Americans. Of course, with the political climate in our country today this is not always an easy thing to do, but our Christian values should make it possible. You know, 'Good Will Towards Men', and all that...come on, give it a try!

Our political differences can just go 'on hold' until after the New Year. Let's just all concentrate on the joys of Christmas, the miracle of the birth of Christ, and all that follows. Enjoy!

This may be easier said than done. What do we do with the 'secular progressives'? They just don't believe as we do, and they don't want to hear about Christmas and baby Jesus, and nativity scenes and such. And, it is their right not to believe, if that is how they truly feel. And, we should never try to impose our collective wills on them as they do to us. Y'all know how that makes us feel! And, we should always try to respect their feelings even though they have no respect for ours. So, what to do?

You may possibly have guessed by now. I do have an idea (not original, but an idea)! Let's approach the leaders of the secular progressive movement with an outpouring of love. Let's share with them how important and sacred Christmas is to us, so that they may better understand our feelings, and, just maybe, it will help them to show respect for us in return.

You are probably asking, "So, just who are these leaders of the secular progressive movement in our country? And, how do we show them this great outpouring of love?"

The first answer would be: The American Civil Liberties Union.

The second answer would be: Let every Christian in this country send them a Christmas Card.

I personally think that if the ACLU were to receive several million Christmas cards from caring folks like us between now and Christmas, they would have to be greatly moved by it all. Overwhelmed. Probably beyond belief (so to speak)!

So, if you like this idea, please feel free to forward this to as many people as possible, and let's get the ball rolling. Merry Christmas!

AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION
125 BROAD STREET, 18TH FLOOR
NEW YORK, NY 10004

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

So, Where Is The Outrage?

Michael Richards lost his 'cool' at a couple of hecklers at a comedy club in LA, showed his butt, and then stupidly used the "N" word. What a guy! The story out of the Hollywood community is simple: "He is really not that way". "Poor Richard just got mad and lost his head, he's not really a racist". "He was truly sorry he said that after he regained his composure, so everything is fine now".

What is missing in this picture? The outrage. There is no outrage. None at all. Why do you suppose there is no outrage? Try this: IT'S BECAUSE HE IS A HOLLYWOOD LIBERAL, THAT'S WHY! HE'S ONE OF THEM, THAT'S WHY! Never mind that what he did and what he said was totally and completely despicable. Totally and completely beyond human decency. Totally and completely indefensible. It just totally and completely doesn't matter. To them.

Now, let's back up a few months: Mel Gibson was stopped for a traffic violation and subsequently arrested for DUI. As he should have been. He, in his drunken stupor (Michaels was sober), lost his cool and stupidly used the "J" word. So, where was the kindness, the compassion, the understanding from the Hollywood community then? Where were all the kind words. the support? Can anybody remember seeing the community rallying around poor ol' Mel in his time of trial? Not on your life! Can anybody remember the outrage? You bet your sweet 'whatchamacallit' you do! For weeks on end! For months on end! And, it still ain't over! And, if the Hollywood lefties have their way, it never will be over! Well, maybe if they could give him 30 days in the electric chair and then hang him! Probably not!

Can you say 'double standard'? Can you say 'disingenuous'? Can you say 'hypocrisy'? Can you say 'liberal Hollywood mentality'? In the immortal words of KC, "That's the way they like it, uh-ha, uh-ha".

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Liquids, Creams, And Gells!

I am not nearly as dumb as I look! Say 'Praise God', y'all! Every once in a while, this old codger comes up with a really good idea. This may be one of them. On the other hand...

If you have been paying any attention at all to the news lately, you will know that the Federal air control folks have banned all liquids, creams, and jells, etc. on all commercial airline flights. If they find the stuff in your luggage they will confiscate it, no questions asked. This means either you don't bother to pack your shampoo, hand lotion, toothpaste, deodorant, etc. at all, and then buy it at your destination, OR, if you somehow missed the new regulations, they will take it from you at your point of departure and you then buy it upon arrival at your destination. See the similarity? You ain't gonna have your toiletries when you get to where ever it is you are going to! Somehow, it just never occurred to me that I could blow up an entire airplane with a little tube of Crest! Not that I would want to, anyway.

So, if there is a single shred of logic left anywhere in this world of ours, it would stand to reason that if you are required to leave your toiletry stuff here when you travel to there, and if those folks traveling from there to somewhere else must leave their stuff behind, and those folks that are traveling from somewhere else to here leave their stuff behind, then there must be a plethora, or even an abundance, of liquids, creams, gels, etc. just stacked up waiting to be thrown into a dumpster at every airline terminal in this country. And, why do they have to call them 'terminals'? Sounds too final to me, but I digress. Here is my plan...

The airline folks could set up a Free Toiletry Store adjacent to baggage claim in every terminal in the country, stocked by all the confiscated liquids, creams, gells, etc., displayed and organized by brand, size, type, color, taste, etc. Then, after a passenger has retreived their luggage, they could simply walk over to the Free Toiletry Store, pick out the items they need for their stay, and then turn them back in again upon departure so another lucky traveler could benefit from the plan. Think of the money saved! This is truly an ingenious idea!

AND THEN, the federal government could figure out a way to TAX it!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I Can Create My Own Guilt!

People will never turn to the church for what they can already find in the world. Profound? I think so. Original? No, but I like it! Why? Because it spells out in very plain and clear English (oops, should I use the word 'language' instead?) exactly what is going wrong with many of the mainline churches today.

I recently left the Episcopal Church (TEC) after many years of loyal and active membership. I left physically two weeks ago. I left spiritually in June when TEC elected a woman to be the Presiding Bishop. Did I leave because she was a woman? No, not at all. I left because, on her first morning as PB-elect, she prayed to "Mother Jesus"! I left because she represents a religious body that condones unrepentant sin, does not offer credence to the Virgin Birth or to the Resurrection. In short, I left because they (TEC) no longer remain true to scripture.

What ever happened to the grand notion that the culture should be brought to the church? Instead, the church has been brought to the culture. Virtually consumed by it, actually. So why bother? I live in the culture everyday. If church has become nothing more than an extension of all that is wrong in the world, I think I'm just going to sleep in on Sunday morning. Why should I go out of the way just to get a dose of "same ol', same ol", when I can just roll over and catch a few more Z's? I'm human, I can create my own guilt, so why should I pay an equally guilty church to do it for me?

This nation is in serious trouble. We have problems far beyond the war on terror. We have problems far beyond all the immigration issues that face us. We are a nation embroiled in spiritual warfare. The 'secular progressives' are slowly and methodically undermining the pinions of our society. They have an agenda that is 'hell-bent' on turning our country into a "Godless" state. And they are winning! You can see it in our churches, our schools and in our government. Unless we can somehow wake up to this fact, we are doomed as a society, and we must not let this happen.

By the way (number one), I didn't really 'sleep in' this Sunday. Two weeks ago our parish voted by an 86% margin to leave the Episcopal Church. We are now part of the world-wide Anglican Communion. We now worship as St. Patrick's Anglican Church, free from the politics and the heresy of TEC. Praise God! By the way (number two), our attendance has been up both Sundays!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

A Thumpin'

Old saying: It is hard to remember your main objective is to drain the swamp when you're up to your buttocks (printable version) in alligators! This is so very true! Between trying to fight a war in Iraq, a war in Washington, both of which have not gone well recently, George Bush kinda got his posterior chewed on Tuesday. He called it a "thumpin". I personally thought it was all quite predictable.

Now the Dems are all saying "No paybacks". If anyone out there really believes that let me know. I have some ocean-front property in beautiful downtown Woodbury I want to talk to you about. I thought I saw Fancy Nancy actually drooling on her blouse in anticipation. Let the games begin!

On another note, I just read an interesting article about General Jack Pershing, aka General Black Jack Pershing. He had a tank named after him, by the way.

DISCLAIMER: Some folks may find this offensive. Read at your own peril.

In the early 1900's he was the Military Governor of Moro Province in the Phillipines. Just before WWI, there were a number of terrorist attacks on the United States forces in the Philippines by Muslim extremists (imagine that). So, General Pershing captured fifty terrorists and had them tied to posts for execution (imagine that). He then had his men bring in two pigs and slaughter them in front of the now horrified terrorists (this should totally offend both the PC'rs and the PETA folks). Muslims detest pork because they believe pigs are filthy animals. Some of them simply refuse to eat it, while others won't even touch pigs at all, nor any of their by-products. To them, eating or touching a pig, its meat, its blood, etc., is to be instantly barred from paradise (and all those virgins) and doomed to hell. The soldiers then soaked their bullets in the pig blood, and proceeded to execute forty nine of the terrorists by firing squad. The soldiers then dug a big hole, dumped in the terrorist's bodies and covered them in pig blood, entrails, etc. They let the fiftieth man go. And for the next forty two years there was not a single Muslim extremist attack anywhere in the world. Maybe it is time for this segment of history to repeat itself, maybe in Iraq? The question is, where do we find another Black Jack Pershing?

End of article.

The only question in my mind is, why didn't they make the terrorists dig their own hole?

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Election Reflections, Deflections, Directions, Confections

You can fool some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool a Tennessee voter! Been tried before. Clinton couldn't carry the state in either election in spite of his VP (Gore) allegedly being from Tennessee. Gore also couldn't win here and neither could John Kerry (who, by the way, suffers from terminal foot-in-mouth disease).

I watched Chris Clark's (Channel 50) election coverage for local results and Fox News Channel (of course) for the national results. I found it amusing (to a point) to watch Clark try to control his giddiness everytime he reminded us that the Corker/Ford votes hadn't been counted yet in Shelby County, which was just about whenever his mouth was moving. We all have to hang on to our dreams and he obviously dreams about Harold Ford.

I have to wonder why Ted Kennedy and John Kerry gave Ford a cool million dollars for his campaign. Afterall, Harold has sounded almost like a right wing conservative these past few weeks. Doesn't make sense, unless...you don't suppose Harold was being disingenuous just to win an election, do you?

As I write this Corker is leading Ford by a 52% to 47% margin. Let's hope his lead holds up (oh, was I supposed to be non-partisan?).

On a different note, it looks like the marriage amendment passed with flying colors, sending a very strong message to those on the left that Tennessee just ain't much interested in their secular progressive agenda.

On the national scene, anyone who thought the House and Senate would not fall to the Democrats just ain't been paying attention. It is too soon, as I write this (deadline issue), to know just how it will play out, but it's a foregone conclusion that in a 'sixth-year' election it is pretty much a historic fact that there will be a change of power.

If there is good news here, it is that most of the new Democrats are moderate to conservative and should not fall prey to the radical, liberal anti-Bush movement. That in spite of the fact that Nancy Pelosi will no doubt become Speaker of the House.

The bottom line: The Republicans have brought this on themselves. The vote reflects the strong dissatisfaction this nation feels about Iraq, illegal aliens, etc. The Republicans have done nothing to change this mood, and all the Democrats had to do was 'fan the flames' of discontent. They return to power with no message, no plan, and no solutions. Unless a new spirit of bi-partisanship develops, we all stand to lose. Big time.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Fancy Nancy Makes Me Antsy!

This country's worst political nightmare could happen next Tuesday. If the election should give the majority in the House of Representatives to the democrats, then Nancy Pelosi would become the Speaker of the House. The implications are too scary for words.

We have all been kept apprised of where she stands and what she will try to do and try to undo if this should happen, so lets take this time to examine Pelosi the person. I will draw my information from the book entitled, "Do as I Say, Not As I Do, Profiles In Liberal Hypocrisy", written by Peter Schweitzer (which is very well documented). This is a great book, by the way.

Pelosi hates George Bush. She thinks the Republicans have no concerns about poverty. She has tried to pass legislation to prevent the Boy Scouts from using public facilities such as schools. She has claimed to be an environmentalist, tried to force the U.S. Olympic Committee to hold Gay Olympics, and proved to be strong opposition when Clinton signed the Gingrich-induced welfare reform legislation.

Dennis Hastert is worth less than $1 million, Pelosi is worth more than $50 million. Not bad! She has a $1 million investment in a private partnership called Lions Gate Limited, a golf development entity. They have broken agreements, violated environmental laws and turned their backs on regulatory obligations. So where is Miss Nancy, the environmental goddess? Counting her money, maybe?

The Pelosis have a multimillion-dollar portfolio including several high-tech companies which outsource production to Asia. They discourage union labor within their companies, and she is totally against magnet schools.

I could go on and on, but I would encourage you to buy the book, as it is quite a fascinating read.

Bottom line: Beware, my friends. I know that George W. Bush and the Republicans have made some huge blunders. But I know, also, that this nation is in much safer hands with them in control rather than to turn the reins over to a liberal agenda that has no plan at all, other than to discredit/destroy George Bush in anyway they can. Listen - they have no message, no ideas, no solutions. None.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Random Rants To Rile The Left

"FREE BEER - PAY TOILETS" There was a time when I thought this was a wonderfully funny line! But, if you take the time to really analyze the concept, you come to realize it pretty well captures the essence of liberalism. And there ain't nothin' funny 'bout that! Eventually, the free beer will be gone. Then what?

"CAN YOU SAY TACKY?" Can anyone out there tell me exactly why the RNC paid for the very ridiculous, and very tacky, commercial about Harold Ford at the Playboy Club? What, if I may ask, does that have to do with his ability or inability to be a member of Congress? I certainly have no plans to vote for the man, but not because he likes football and girls.

"COULD THIS REALLY BE TRUE?" I couldn't find a reference to this in Snopes, but I received this from a very reliable source (the internet, hah). At a recent Democratic fundraiser in New York, Bill Clinton was reported to have asked Ted Kennedy if he would give Hillary a ride home. It's just a joke, okay?

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Humor Alert! Humor Alert! Humor Alert!

Humor alert! Humor alert! Humor alert! That should get the 'secular progressives' pretty well worked up without another word! It seems they don't like, or don't get, my sense of humor. Or both! Don't care!

Further disclaimer: This is NOT a true story, it is a JOKE!

There is a rally for liberals, and the crowd is entirely liberal with the exception of one little old lady who is totally, completely conservative. Working the crowd, the man hosting the event yells, "How many liberals do we have here?", and the crowd went ballistic, hollering and screaming. Total excitement. The people were in a frenzy. All except the little, conservative lady who, by happenstance, was sitting 'front row' in front of the podium, quietly composed. Of course, the host, not seeing a positive response, singled her out, and asked, "Madam, are you not a liberal?" She proceeded to stare him in the eye, and with total indignance, replied, "No, I happen to be a life-long conservative, and I'm proud of it!" The man then asked, "And, just WHY are you a conservative?" She replied, "My daddy was a conservative, my grand-daddy was a conservative, and so I am also a conservative." To which he replied, "Madam, may I ask, if your daddy was an idiot, and your grand-daddy was an idiot, THEN what would you be?" Her answer, "Why THEN sir, I would be a liberal!"

End of joke!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Election Preflections!

Firstly, some additional information that has come to light since my last 'Rant' regarding Harold Ford, Jr: It has been reported that all, as in one hundred percent, of Bob Corker's campaign contributions have come from within the State of Tennessee, as it should be. Mr. Ford's money, on the other hand, has come primarily from New York and California with only around twenty percent coming from within Tennessee and most of that from Memphis.

Does this strike you as odd? It certainly does me. I am not making accusations, only asking much needed questions. I would wonder, if I were a Ford supporter (and I'm not), is Ol' Harold in somebody's pocket? Why would folks from New York and California be trying to buy an election in Tennessee? Maybe Mr. Ford has not fallen as far from the tree as he would like us to believe!

Secondly, the marriage amendment. This is not an amendment to change anything we already have. Vote "YES" if you want our Constitution to protect these already existing laws that say a legal marriage is between a man and a woman.

There have been reports of poll workers in certain areas of the state telling people the amendment is meant to change the present laws, and they should vote "NO" to keep things as they are. Kinda crummy, if you ask me. And illegal. But not surprising. These secular progressive folks will stop at nothing to further their agenda.

Thirdly, as I understand it, the marriage amendment must pass by a majority vote of the total number of votes cast for all candidates for governor. A plurality vote will not win passage. Example: If there are four million total votes cast for all eight gubernatorial (you don't suppose that's where the term 'goober' came from, do you?) candidates, then there must be at least two million and ONE votes to pass the amendment. Anything less and it fails. This is mighty important stuff, and the SP folks are very well organized in their effort to see this fail. Every vote is crucial!

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Does This Apple Fall Far Enough From The Tree?

There has never been, to my knowledge, a member of Harold Ford, Jr's family that has left politics under a positive note. They seem to have written the book on political disgrace. As the old saying goes, an apple never falls far from the tree. But, is this a fair assumption? I personally don't think so. He should be judged on his own merit.

I have seen Mr. Ford numerous times on Fox News Channel (surprise!) and he has always handled himself very well. He is articulate, eloquent, and always seems to say what people want to hear, regardless of their political persuasion. His criticism of his political foes is usually fair and non-confrontational. He comes off cool and under control. Unflappable would be a good word. A rising star.

Then, he announced his candidacy for Senator Frist's job, and Mr. Cool went by the wayside. No more Mister Nice Guy! He got ugly! Now, instead of saying how much he looks forward to working together for the common good of our country with the President, he cannot say one nice thing about him. Now, instead of taking the 'high road' in the campaign, he has resorted to 'gutter politics'. In all fairness, so has his opponent. Sadly, that's the way it's done these days, and we get cheated in the process, and usually end up voting for a lesser of evils.

He claims he is a moderate. He claims he works hard. I see no proof of either. What started as a breath of fresh air is fast becoming just one more 'ill wind that blows' in the Democratic Party, and that is a shame. Will the real Harold Ford, Jr. please stand up?

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

'Til They Cry "Jimmy Carter"!

Squeeze 'em with sanctions until they cry "Jimmy Carter"!
That's right, the only way to deal with ol' Ping Pong (or whatever his name is) and the North Korea mess is to hit them where it hurts. In the proverbial pocket book. Sadly, he is already starving his people, so economic sanctions will have little or no effect on the population.

We can't do anything militarily at this point in time or South Korea will bear the real brunt of retaliation. Even if we squashed North Korea like a bug, the immediate impact on South Korea would be devastating. And, don't think for a minute the Ping Pong bunch aren't aware of that fact. Seoul is, I think, just thirty five to forty miles south of the DMZ.

So, once again, money talks. I have felt all along that this is really what the North Koreans want. More money. They just have such a strange way of asking. I'm sure they have already squandered the windfall Jimmy Carter laid in their laps during those wonderful Clinton years. They probably spent millions trying to surgically wipe the big smiles off their collective faces!

Thankfully, or hopefully, or both, Carter doesn't have a trip planned again. We simply couldn't afford that, although we could send Jesse Jackson or Ted Kennedy this time. Think about it! Jesse Jackson and/or Ted Kennedy in exchange for North Korea's nuclear program. What a deal! But I don't think they're that dumb (the North Koreans)!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

The Blame Game!

Washington D.C.: The national feeding trough of over-reaction mixed with an ample amount of disingenuousness. And, we all know what you get when you run a steady diet of this stuff through the alimentary canal of your standard issue politician!

With that said, it is now time to play the 'BLAME GAME', and both sides of the aisle play it, and play it well!

Okay, Mark Foley is more than slightly screwed up. He is gone, as he should be. He deserves no further consideration or special treatment. But, if everybody in our Capitol played by the same rules, which they do not, he should be gone not for what he is, but for what he did.

But that ain't gonna happen! The political vultures have quickly circled in to feed on the carcass of a destroyed career and ruined life (when Nancy Pelosi flies does she have 'carrion' luggage? Sorry, just couldn't resist). His conviction before trial and presentation of evidence is pretty standard stuff these days. These folks have gotta have their outrage!

And, of course, someone else also must suffer. Not just Foley. Ain't enough! The Dems are now calling for Dennis Hastert to resign. For what, I don't really know. Let's go back a few years. There was a Representative in Congress by the name of Studds (sp?). He actually had a sexual encounter with a male page, while then-Speaker-of-the-House Tip O'Neil totally turned his back on the entire situation. Like it never happened. Studds was subsequently re-elected to five more terms in Congress by his liberal constituency and O'Neil never dealt with the problem. And, he was never asked to resign. Can you say 'double standard'? Hmmm.....

When Barney Franks 'came out' he was wrongly vilified by the 'right' and wrongly praised by the 'left'. The outrage came from the right this time. He should have been judged soley on his contribution to his country, nothing more. He, like Mark Foley, will be judged for his lifestyle by a much higher authority. But, it just doesn't work that way inside the Beltway. These folks have gotta have their outrage! The difference is, no one was asked to resign! Can you say double standard? Hmmm.....

Now, I do seem to remember another incident involving an intern and a 'high up' public official. It seems there was little or no outrage from the left that time, either. So, I guess it's much better to have sex in the oval office and then lie to the world about it than it is to send alleged lurid e-mails to teenage boys. Can you say double standard? Hmmm.....

The sadness of it all is simply this: Not one time have I heard an utterance of compassion. Not one time have I heard the word 'forgiveness'. Not one time have I heard a call for prayer on behalf of Mr. Foley, that he can find it in his heart to repent for his actions, to find the strength to turn his life around, to ask God for His divine help.

The priorities of a secular society don't seem to leave much room for human decency. And that may be the saddest part of all.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Excuse Me, It's Time For My Naive Pill

Here's an idea (I know, I know, treat it kindly, it's in a strange place)! So, why don't we store all of our military weapons, ammunition, equipment and such in the National Cathedral, St. Paul's Cathedral and other such fine cathedrals, churches and shrines across the country? We could even billet the majority of our military there.

This really is a great idea! Read on!

Understand, the Muslim terrorists do this all the time, and according to the rules of engagement, their mosques are sacred and therefore exempt from attack, right? So, we could stockpile all our military ordnance in these places and it would be completely safe from attack by the terrorists, right? After all, the rules of engagement mean the same thing for both sides, just like the terms of the Geneva Convention, right? We should all feel quite confident, as fair minded as they are (for terrorists), that they would never violate the rules, right?

And, we could save millions of dollars every year because we would no longer need as many military bases, right? Just close all those obsolete suckers down, right? And, think about all the money we could save on warehousing and shipping, right? Military convoys would be reduced to a minimum, so think of the gas money we would save, right? Just strategically place our military stuff in church buildings all across the country, so it's there when we need it, right? And it would be so much safer than if we stored it in military installations where the terrorists might actually try to blow it up, right?

And, HERE IS THE BEST PART: When the ACLU and the folks on the far left get finished secularizing our country, and Christianity is nothing more than a faint memory, we would no longer have any use for all those empty churches and cathedrals anyway!

Excuse me, it's time for my naive pill!

Monday, September 25, 2006

'Tis Just A Game, Mate!

Golf: One of the last bastions of professional sports where decency, honor and integrity still prevail. The pros, of course, play an entirely different game than does this hacker. I only call what I do 'golf' because all the other four letter words have been taken!

Okay, you may be asking, when did ol' Dougie become a sports writer? Answer: Now, and for this time only. I want to share an experience I had two years ago during the 2004 Ryder Cup. I shall then retire as a sports writer forthwith (did I just hear cheers from the gallery?).

September 2004, my brother and sister-in-law, my wife and myself were 'on holiday' as they say over there, and happened to be on a catamaran ferry from Belfast, Ireland back to Scotland on the last night of our trip. It was the final day of the 2004 Ryder Cup. We were sitting in the lounge watching as Belfast harbor slowly faded into the misty night. The area in front of the big-screen TV was filled with locals who, rightfully so, were whooping it up as the Europeans were beating the American team like a drum.

For some unknown reason I decided to watch the debacle close up. I picked up my 'wee dram', walked over and sat down right in the midst of this wildy cheering group of Brits, announcing as I settled in, "Guys, I am not here to start trouble, I only want to watch the golf". The chap (British for 'guy') sitting at my immediate right reached over, slapped me on the leg, grinned, and said, "'Tis just a game, mate".

Well, it seems we got our butts thoroughly thumped again this year, but before we get all worked up about the Europeans beating us at our 'own game', we need to remember that golf is not our 'own game'. Golf was being played in Great Britain three hundred years before our great Nation was even a gleam in our fore fathers' collective eyes. The Old Course at Saint Andrews is five hundred years old, and believe me, you can definitely feel the history and tradition in the air. It is Mecca for the golf world.

Win or lose, one thing is for sure. The sun will come up in the morning. Of course, it will come up six hours earlier for the winners. And I, for one, congratulate them for a great tournament. And I applaud both teams for their great sportsmanship and camaraderie. We could all learn from this. After all...
...'tis just a game, mate!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Daffy Deftynitions And Random Rants

Daffy Deftynitions:

"Federal 'Wetness' Protection Program" - A misnomer attributed
to Ray Nagin.

"Apolitical" - 1. Not concerned with political matters.
2. A form of denial by a person or persons
unwilling to admit to possessing liberal
tendencies.

Random 'Rants'

John Kerry recently spoke about his faith and commitment to the Roman Catholic Church for the first time. I sincerely applaud him for doing so, not that he would give a whit about me, or what I may think. He spoke quite sincerely about losing his faith during the Vietnam war, then regaining it years later when a close friend passed away.

The question(s)in my mind would be: Where does he stand, and how would he vote, on abortion, and same sex marriage?

Christianity, as I understand it, is not a 'pick and choose' religion.

*****

I was going to do a 'Rant' about how the liberals have no real message. You can actually hear it in every word they say. But Rosie O'donnell stole my thunder and proved my point all at the same time. Thanks for nothing (so to speak).

My rationale comes from the fact that there are very few successful liberal radio talk shows, Air America is on the verge of going 'belly up', and the TV network news shows are losing viewers on a steady basis. Rush continues to 'rule the roost' on radio, while Liddy and Savage and many, many others are extremely popular. Fox News continues to increase its audience over CNN, while MSNBC and CNBC continue to languish. Gotta be a reason! The message? That would be my guess.

*****

I know I have said this many times before, but I sincerely believe that 'political correctness' is the number one threat to this nation and it will bring us to our collective knees, both politically and morally, unless those of us on the right take a long, hard stand against the liberal agenda folks. We must defeat their agenda if we are to win the war against terrorism.

If World War II had been fought in these times, in this political climate, we would be eating wiener schnitzel on rice today.

...And voting the Democrats into office in November will only make things worse than they already are...

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Yesterday Was Not The Day

Tuesday, September 12. I just couldn't bring myself to write about 9/11 yesterday. Instead, I decided I would just 'soak up' the television coverage, re-live the emotions and the images from five years ago, and basically just refresh the memories that none of us ever will, or should, forget.

That lasted for about a full five minutes! Then, the inimitable Senator Charles Schumer spent several minutes on FOX News Channel railing about the failures and inadequacies of the Department of Homeland Security, thereby de-railing the mood of the moment. He may have been exactly right. Most of our government agencies do seem to pride themselves on failure and inadequacy. BUT YESTERDAY WAS NOT THE DAY! Yesterday was to remember, to honor, to pray. Not to be political.

Sadly, President Bush also chose to be political. Although I felt his message was right, I thought his timing was totally wrong.

And finally, the very worst possible way to end an otherwise crummy newsday happened: Senator Ted Kennedy went off on the President for 'politicizing' the events of the day. I guess it was okay for Mr. Schumer to do it, but not the President. Whatever! And, seeing Ol' Ted that late in the evening can cause serious nightmares!

I wish they had all just stayed out of it, stayed at home, and let us fend for ourselves.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Anonymous? Shanonymous!!!

Definition - Anonymous: 1. With no name known or acknowledged.
2. Given, written, etc. by a person whose name is withheld.

Definition - Synonymous: 1. Of the same or nearly the same meaning, i.e., as, 'big
chicken' being synonymous with 'coward' or 'fraidy cat'.

Definition - Antonymous: 1. Of, or having the nature of, an antonym, i.e., a word
whose meaning is opposite to that of another word, as,
'brave' or 'courageous' being the antonym of 'big
chicken' or 'coward' or 'fraidy cat'.

This concludes your English lesson for today. Thank God! Actually, I just looked all that up in my trusty Webster, so I think I can safely assume that Snopes will not dispute such a brilliant piece of work as this. Of course, we all know what happens when you assume.....

So why, you may be asking, did I go to such great lengths to look up words in the dictionary? Valid question, if you ask me, which I just assumed you did, and we all know what happens when you assume......
.....so I'm going to give you my very best, most heart felt, answer.

I have been receiving a plethora (fancy word for bunch) of comments in response to various 'Rants' I have published on my blog site. They vary in content, but most take issue with what I believe and say. That is fine. This entire blog thing is about dialogue. You hear me out, I hear you out. We can agree to disagree, and that's fine. We have exchanged ideas and thought processes. And it never should get personal or ugly. When that happens, I'm outa' here!

So what's my beef? Most of the comments I receive are from some joker(s) named 'Anonymous'. I don't know if it is Fred or Ernestine or Mabel or Maxwell or whomever. Just 'Anonymous'. I am sorry, but that just ain't gonna get it no more! From this day forward I promise you I will publish your comments, regardless of content (unless they are filthy or dishonest), everytime, if they are legitimately signed. I also promise you I will immediately delete any and all comments from Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. Anonymous, or whoever the hell you are. If you don't have the courage of your convictions, please don't waste my time.

I spend a lot of time formulating my 'Rants' and I certainly don't expect everyone out there to agree with everything I write. How boring would that be? I do expect, however, a certain degree of respect for having the guts to put a name and a face to what I believe, and I find it quite sad that someone would not have that same respect for themselves.

Anonymous? Shanonymous!!!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

See You Later Alligator.....

The animal world lost an ally and friend this weekend. The people world lost one of the 'good guys'. Steve Irwin, the 'Crocodile Hunter', died as a result of a freak accident involving a sting ray. I guess we all know the details by now.

Steve Irwin was a breath of fresh air in a world otherwise wrought with the pressures of international strife. He was the quintessential "time out" guy. Take a break. Put your problems aside for a few minutes. Enjoy the fun. A laughable few moments away from all the political 'crap', terrorism and such that overwhelms us each and everyday. He was there to entertain us, and he did it well. A combination of fun and education mixed with an element of danger, just to keep our hearts in our throats.

Best of all, he had an obvious passion for life. There is no doubt he immensely enjoyed his work, his play, his calling. And he shared that gift with us all. And we were blessed. And we could all learn from him.

He died doing what he loved. He was one of the lucky ones who lived his passion to the fullest. Is there a better way to leave this life for the 'life eternal'? I think not. So, Steve, instead of saying goodby, for now let's just leave it at this....

.....after while, crocodile!

Friday, September 01, 2006

Retraction: Hutton Gibson

When you are wrong, you are wrong, and I was wrong. Totally! Actually, I was wronger than wrong. I completely blew this one!

Recently, I 'ranted' about Mel Gibson's treatment by the mainstream media and how unrelenting they can be when someone of fame and/or fortune, especially someone they despise, makes a mistake. This is not to say he didn't deserve a fair amount of coverage for his 'screw up', he most certainly did. However, I feel the media soft peddled and/or simply ignored events much more newsworthy so they could continue their 'overkill' journalism of ol' Mel. Far be it for them to let mercy or compassion get in the way of their agenda. My point being, there are certainly a lot more serious issues going on in this world of ours than Mel's drinking problem.

However, I also included, as a way of making my point, a paragraph about the media unfairly attacking Mel's dad, Hutton Gibson, by allegedly putting words in his mouth regarding statements he made about the validity of the Holocaust in an attempt to discredit the "Passion of the Christ". WRONG!

It turns out that Mr. Gibson did say all those things! Ain't no alleged about it! He is, quite obviously, a vile, despicable person. Simply calling him antisemetic may be too kind.

Sadly, I did not even need to include this information in order to make my point about the unfairness of the media. I found the article I quoted from on the internet, went to Snopes, could find nothing about Hutton Gibson to refute it, so I decided to use it. Bad decision!

A friend sent me an actual interview of Mr. Hutton by the Movie City News. To check it out for yourself go to www.speakyourpiece.net, click on #4, and draw your own conclusions.

I WILL defend the premise of my piece, which was soley to point out the unrelenting 'witch hunt' journalistic techniques of the mainstream media, and NOT to defend Mr. Gibson's personal views, which I now find to be totally indefensible. I sincerely apologize for basing my opinion of Mr. Gibson and his views on one single article, which, as it turns out, was totally erroneous. I will do better.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

At The End Of My Rope

It has recently come to my attention that I don't write so very good. I obviously cannot make a point and it has become painfully clear that my writings are nothing but rambling, ambiguous trash. Please don't be in too big a hurry to agree!

I actually get feedback from time to time, just like the real writers, and honestly, I do appreciate it. I usually don't understand it, but I appreciate it.

Most of the responses I receive are from folks who don't agree with anything I have to say, and that's all right. I'm a big boy and I can handle it. If you're going to dish it out, then be a big enough person to accept that not everyone out there hangs on your every word. I sometimes think they would prefer to hang me instead, but that's a whole different story.

I recently wrote an article about the split and impending demise of the Episcopal Church. It was a personal lament for me because an institution I dearly love is going into the dumper. It hurts me deeply.

I received a reply vilifying me for hating 'same sex marriage', which was never mentioned in the entire piece. I received another reply that was so unintelligible I could not decipher where the person was coming from. It had absolutely nothing to do with anything, and was laced with filth. I do know, however, I obviously struck a nerve.

My 'Rant' about Bill Clinton's history of indiscretions was strictly 'tongue in cheek'. I used global warming as the vehicle for the piece to poke a little fun at wild Bill. I got responses all over the place about global warming, but not a single word about Mr. Clinton, good or bad.

I could go on and on, but I think this paints a pretty accurate picture. No, it probably doesn't, but I have yet to receive a rebuttal from anyone who questioned the actual subject at hand. That would be refreshing if it ever happened, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

Could it be that I'm just a lousy writer, or is it possible that those who disagree with me just aren't willing or able to grasp the whole picture? They seem to pull one tiny little snippet of information out of an entire article, then take off on a tangent with it until it no longer reflects my original thought process in any way, shape or form.

I make no claim to being an authority. I certainly am not. I have my opinions and I simply share them with others, and they are free to agree or disagree. This is all about dialogue, nothing more.

So, if you decide to 'hang me' for my opinions, that's all well and good. Just try to keep your responses 'on message' for a change. I'm at the end of my rope!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Go Back Prev Next Reply Reply All Forward Delete Move To Draft


Back to Top

Sunday, August 27, 2006

PGA Goes Politically Correct

Okay, I've seen it all now, folks! Historically, or even almost forever, when two or more players are tied at the end of a professional golf tournament, there is, in all but the rarest of cases, a 'sudden death' playoff. The players play extra holes until one of the players wins a hole outright. Then it's over. Right? Right!

That part of all this is still true, but a PC'r must have somehow gotten involved behind the scenes, and not being up to speed on golf terminology, thought that 'sudden death' meant the losing player or players involved had to be killed 'graveyard dead' at the conclusion of the match. You know, bludgeon them with a mashie niblick (a seven iron if memory serves me right), and then bury the bodies in a bunker on the back nine! I'm sorry, but this is totally unacceptable and unthinkable behavior for any self respecting PC'r. And so.....

.....Check this out: This past weekend, Tiger and Cink are tied after 72 holes at beautiful Firestone Country Club (been there). Time for 'sudden death', right? WRONG! No more 'sudden death' for the PGA! It just ain't politically correct anymore. SO...get a 'grip' sports fans, they played a 'hole to hole' playoff. It looked like 'sudden death' to me, but what do I know? The announcers called it 'hole to hole', the graphic on TV said it was 'hole to hole', so if it sounds like 'hole to hole' and it looks like 'hole to hole' then it must be 'hole to hole'!

Is nothing sacred anymore? It seems that whenever 'political correctness' is involved, we end up getting the 'shaft'!

Friday, August 25, 2006

Bill Clinton On Global Warming

Former President Bill Clinton recently surmised that 'global warming' holds a much bigger threat to our collective futures than does 'terrorism'. This should really come as no big surprise to anyone who has followed Mr. Clinton's illustrious (gag) career.

Firstly, we all know how prone he is to being 'in heat'. His record speaks for itself. Global warming, although little more than a theory at this point in time, could be blamed for his ongoing 'heat' issues, making it a very convenient way to explain away his past indiscretions.

Secondly, for eight long years he hardly recognized terrorism as a problem. His record here also speaks for itself. Had he not been so busy dealing with all his 'warming' issues we probably would not be in the mess we're in today.

Thirdly, had he not succumbed to Newt Gingrich's 'Contract for America', his legacy would consist of one 'blue dress'. Nothing more.

UbetchaIcansneakinastan

After much soul searching and incredibly deep (for me) thought, I have made a life altering decision! I am moving! Yes, I will soon be relocating to the country of 'UbetchaIcansneakinastan' (a purely fictional country, for those of you who are hoping this might actually be true). Well, I am not REALLY moving, as such. I am sneaking in as an illegal alien. It just works better that way. No passport, no paperwork, no legal requirements, none of that darned citizenship stuff to complicate matters down the road. Just gonna sneak in! It's simply a much easier way to do things. All that legal stuff just gets in the way!

My plan is to cross the border at the crack of noon. At my age, I don't function well early in the day. In fact, that snap, crackle and pop I heard when I got up this morning was NOT my breakfast cereal! But, I digress. I will then proceed to out run (hah) the border patrol, and then, with the utmost stealth and cunning (or dumb luck), I shall blend in with the locals, never to be heard from again (don't get your hopes up, remember this is pure fiction). Pretty darn simple. Don't you just love it when a plan comes together!

Now why, you may be asking, would I be doing such a thing? Why would I leave this wonderful (AND IT IS) country of ours for such a place as 'UbetchaIcansneakinastan'? I could be like the mountain climbers and wistfully say, "Because it's there", but there is a lot more to it than that. Here are my top ten (according to old David Whatshisname) reasons for leaving:

1) I can earn minimum wage from an employer who has absolutely no regard for the law.
2) I can get a driver's license with virtually no effort, even though I cannot prove citizenship.
3) Some of their universities will give me free or cut rate tuition based on the fact I am illegal.
4) I will never have to learn their language.
5) The UCLU will fight to get me amnesty, and not even charge me to do it. They will get reimbursed by the government with tax payer money.
6) I can, at a later date, sneak the rest of my family into the country without fear of reprisal.
7) I never have to pay taxes.
8) I can get free medical attention because I am not a citizen.
9) I don't have to listen to their politicians pander (not a typo) my fate in exchange for future voting privileges.
10) And finally, the tottl dummn arrses maak sttupd lawws und nveer ennfrce thmm.

I wrote number ten in the 'UbetchaIcansneakinastan' language to point out how ludicrous it is to have just one national language. Translated, it means "So why would anyone give up all this just to be a citizen?"

Does any of this sound familiar? Could it be happening here? Hmmmm.

You can only achieve total idiocy in government through a bi-partisan effort, and we've got the folks in Washington to prove it!

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Media Feeding Frenzy

John Mark Karr is probably one of the most hated men in America today, but I will bet you a dollar to a donut that Mel Gibson really appreciates his very existence. The media people have dropped Ol' Mel like a hot potato, so they can now devote their time and energy to resurrecting the Jonbenet debacle.

I find it quite interesting to watch the media feeding frenzy as it moves from victim to victim as though they were nothing but objects to destroy in a very sick PacMan game. Chew them up, spit them out, who cares? Sadly, there is very little dignity left in an industry that once was held in the highest esteem.

It is no wonder so many of the nation's newspapers are losing circulation and the television news programs are losing viewers. We deserve better!

Global Warming Alert!!!

Hey, maybe there is something to all this global warming stuff the tree huggers are trying to sell us. Maybe Al Gore was really right after all! Do you really think so? Nah!!! Sorry, lost my head for a minute. Okay, folks on the left, this is just for fun. I heard a couple of stories I thought were cute, saw a way to poke a little political fun, and so I went for it. Nothing serious, so get over it:

Bubba says, "Man, it was sure hot in Alabama today!" Junior, being the easy mark that he is, appropriately asked, "How hot was it, Bubba?" Bubba replies, "It was SO hot in Alabama today the corn started popping right out in the fields, the cows thought it was snowing so they laid down and froze to death! Now, that's hot!"

And then, Bubba says, "Man it was sure hot in Arkansas today!" Junior, being the easy mark that he is, then asked the obligatory, "Hey Bubba, how hot was it in Arkansas today?" To which Bubba replied, "It was SO hot in Arkansas today the hogs all melted, the grease ran out into the fields, so the farmers planted french fries! Now that's hot!"

Now THAT'S ridiculous! Or is it?

Just in case you're wondering if maybe I've gone completely over the edge (and I don't really want to know your thoughts on this), I do happen to have one more rural story to share with y'all:

A traveling saleman is driving down a back country lane when he notices a farmer holding a goat high up into an apple tree. Got him right around the chest with all four legs in the air. The goat is having a big time, quite casually munching away on the apples with no apparent regard for the farmer, or the time of day. The salesman stops his car, lowers the window, and says, "Hey there, wouldn't it be a lot quicker and easier if you just let that goat eat the apples that have already fallen to the ground?" The farmer gave the salesman an incredulous look, and replied, "Time don't mean nothing to a goat!" Now, you may ask, how does this story relate to politics? Good question! Better answer: Picture the farmer as the United States Government. Now picture the goat as a healthy young welfare recipient who has figured out how to beat the system. Got it? Liberalism at its grass roots level!

Monday, August 14, 2006

Humpty Dumpty Sat On A Wall

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the King's horses and all the King's men.......
Yeah, yeah, yeah.....we know! He's now just a shell of his former self!

Kinda' reminds me of the Episcopal Church in a way. The folks on the left (revisionists) have built a wall, the fall is happening as we speak, and the church is just a shell of its former self. And, ain't nobody gonna put it back together again! A real shame!

I became an Episcopalian several years ago. The Episcopal Church, for the record, is a very small part of the world wide Anglican Communion (70,000,000 strong). It was a 'spin-off' from the Church of England during the Revolutionary War and, after everybody kissed and made up, it has been 'in communion' with the Church of England since. I fell totally in love with the liturgy, the history, the attention to ancient customs (the smells and bells), but mostly the theology because it was totally true to Holy Scripture. No hocus pocus stuff here (sadly, there is now)! And, of course, my British heritage was all over it! So, it is breaking my heart to watch the heretics undo hundreds of years steeped in beautiful Holy tradition. But it's happening.

An acquaintance, knowing very well how I feel, asked me recently how I was dealing with the 'gay' issue in our church. Sadly, this is the perception most people have about what is happening in most main-line religions today. So, for the umpteenth time, I did my best to explain that we do not have a 'gay' issue, that this is simply the label the liberal press has chosen because it suits their agenda quite well, and that we are all sinners, and that those who do not repent of their sins will not enter the Kingdom of God. It is that simple. Sinners are sinners. The label doesn't matter, repentance does.

We are a church that is saddled with two Gospels, the Truth of the inspired Word of God (which seems to have served us well for over 2000 years), and now, the new 'revisionist' translation. With this, the revisionists (a polite word for heretics) have built a wall the Episcopal Church can no longer straddle, and like Humpty Dumpty, it will soon fall. And, all the King's horses and all the King's men.......

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Global Warming: Fact Or Just A Bunch Of Hot Air?

The bottom line is, nobody really knows. I don't. You don't. Al Gore says he does, but he also says he invented the internet, so there you have it. I know the PC'rs won't touch this with a ten foot thermometer, but I do have my own theory about global warming: Does it not stand to reason that if all the politicians in the world were to keep their collective mouths shut for an extended period of time, the source of most of the hot air in the world would then be eliminated? Hence, no more global warming! Pretty simple! Probably have to wear a sweater in some places!

MASSACHUSETTS, A SAD STATE (OF AFFAIRS): The Massachusetts state legislature ran for the hills without passing a bill that would give free college tuition to veterans returning from the war in Iraq. In keeping with the way business is conducted in the 'blue states', however, if you are an illegal alien you can receive free tuition and other benefits. Insane! Can you say 'vote these clowns out of office'?

ISRAEL, THOSE BIG, BAD BULLIES: Excuse me, did I hear something wrong? I was under the impression those lovable Hezbollah folks fired a bunch of missiles into Israel, killing and wounding dozens of Israeli citizens in the process, and then they kidnapped two Israeli soldiers. Totally unprovoked, by the way. That's what I thought I heard, but I must have been mistaken. I must have been out-FOXED (get it?)! Now I'm hearing the WWL crowd (world wide liberals) is demanding that Israel not only stop the air attacks, but immediately withdraw their troops from Lebanon. Oh yeah, then they should apologize for their unwarranted aggression. I keep telling you that political correctness is the world's number one enemy. This proves it!

MEL GIBSON: Thank God all the problems of the world have been solved. No more war, hunger, or sickeness. All better now! NOT! I can understand a couple of days of coverage about Gibson's drinking spree, subsequent arrest, stupid remarks, and all. Famous guy screws up, pays the price with some well deserved ugly publicity. But, hey guys, enough is enough! Let it go! Get over it! There are certainly bigger fish to fry than this! We have some very serious problems in our world and, believe me, this ain't one of them!

To make matters worse, his father is being demonized all over again for anti-semitic remarks he NEVER made. During the pre-release hype of 'The Passion', the lefties were on their total Gibson family smear campaign. Dad was quoted as saying the holocaust never happened. That it was made up to gain enduring sympathy for the Jews. He paid a tremendous personal price for these lies, and the liberal press, in all its gory (no, I spelled it right) was being its characteristically vicious self. All he ever did was to question the validity of the number of Jews that were actually killed, noting that six million seemed to be an exaggerated figure for the time period involved. Some historians have posed the same question. Not exactly anti-semitic.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

George W. Bush: Between Iraq And A Hard Place

Abraham Lincoln had it rough. Civil War and all. Franklin D. Roosevelt also had it rough. Depression, World War II. No doubt about it. This country has been through some very trying times in its young history, but no President since day 'one' has been through anything to compare with the incessant trials of one George W. Bush.

Upon taking office, Bush inherited a decimated military, a virtually non-existent human intelligence network, and an economy that was headed for the dumper. Scream all you want, this is truth.

Let's sort it out. Recession. September 11th. Terrorism. Afghanistan. Iraq. Katrina. Immigration. And a far-left agenda driven by a personal hatred of him and all he stands for. Need I go on? Sounds like a hard place to me!

This nation sadly lost 11,000 troops in ONE DAY on the beaches at Normandy during World War II and General Dwight D. Eisenhower is, to this day, a legend and a hero. This is not a judgment, but merely an observation. Had this happened in today's political climate, where would the good General stand in the eyes of those who hate Bush so vehemently? Would they have even noticed? Or cared?

We still have troops in Germany (60 years later), Korea (50 years later), Bosnia, and, for some reason I have never understood, Haiti. Where are the cries to bring them home? Sorry, I can't hear you!

The Supreme Court recently ruled that the fewer than five hundred 'detainees' at Guantanamo are entitled to protection and treatment according to the Geneva Convention. Wrong on two counts. First, these people have no rights under the Geneva Convention because they wear no uniform nor are they members of an established military of any country. They are alleged terrorists, for God's sake! Second, the Supreme Court has no constitutional powers over matters of war, declared or not. Our government arrested eight German 'residents' during World War II for espionage. Six were hanged as spies. The Supreme Court would not, and did not, get involved on the basis they had no constitutional authority to grant cert. They simply looked the other way. Oh, for the good old days!

Immigration. What a colossal mess! This big fat albotross has been around our collective necks since the Jimmy Carter era, or maybe even before that. In keeping with his inimitable leadership style, Carter didn't know how to deal with the problem, so he didn't. Good ol' Jimmy! Then Reagan made a total mess of it with his ill-fated amnesty plan, and Bush senior and Clinton just sort of turned their backs, hoping it would all go away. Well, it didn't! And, so here we are! Another golden opportunity for the PC crowd to trash the Prez for something he didn't do. And, they are all over it! The answer definitely does not lie in amnesty, fencing in the country, putting troops on the border, etc. These are nothing but 'band-aid' remedies. The real answer, which no one talks about, lies in someone having the political fortitude to wade through the layers of politically correct bureaucracy that exist in the State Department, until, bottom line, this country completely changes the way it does business.

Meanwhile, back at reality..........

Friday, July 28, 2006

Beware, The Crocodile!

Winston Churchill once said of Neville Chamberlain, "There are those who would feed the crocodile in the hope it will eat them last". For those of you too young to remember and/or too lazy to look it up, Neville Chamberlain was, in the early stages of World WarII, playing 'footsie' with Adolph Hitler instead of preparing his country for war. Hitler's rise to power in the 1930's was the greatest single danger of the time. Churchill saw the handwriting on the wall, and, as history has proven, became a great leader in a world under extreme peril as well as a strong ally of our country. Never mind he dressed like 'The Penguin'!

Well, just in case you haven't been paying attention, our world is still faced with great danger. Even more so than during World War II.

Our country, our society, our culture, if you will, is now face to face with a different single danger. A danger that is invisible. A danger that is so inherently subtle it is very difficult to comprehend. But it is very real. It is called evil.

This country is, contrary to what the liberals would like you to believe, a country based on God and His laws. Biblical law. This is historical, not hysterical, fact. It is not left-wing blather dreamed up by a bunch of revisionists hell-bent (so to speak) on secularizing our country. We stood by and watched it happen in Europe and now we are standing by and watching it happen here. Our government, our society and our churches are today steeped in spiritual warfare and WE ARE LOSING, FOLKS, WE ARE LOSING!

We have a choice to make. We can either fold our collective tents and let whatever happens happen, or we can stand up and shout to those who would destroy us, "NO MORE! ENOUGH! WE ARE TAKING OUR COUNTRY BACK!" That would be a good start, but not a very good finish. We, as individuals, need to get our sorry selves back into our churches. We need to get on our knees and pray. Alone. Together. Doesn't matter, just pray. We need to pray that our leaders can be strong enough to say "NO MORE" to political correctness, give our land back to God, and move this country past the secular cesspool we are fast becoming. If they can't, or won't, then we need to vote them out of office and replace them with someone who can, and will. We need to pray our leaders can find the political will that so ably carried us through the trials of World War II. We cannot win against terrorism without it. Above all, we need to pray our churches will return to the Truth of Holy Scripture and stop the ungodly perversion of our faith that has become so prevalent today. We just flat out need to pray!

I have liberal friends (a few) and family (not many) who are good people, who honestly believe in their heart of hearts that their political agenda is the 'right way'. Fine! Wrong, but fine! They are certainly not the least bit evil, by any means. Most have a strong belief in God and Holy Scripture, but they somehow have managed to put their worldly agendas ahead of their faith. I'm afraid they have it wrong - and they are feeding the crocodile.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Disturbing The PC Crowd

I recently found some quotes from Ronald Reagan I would like to share with you:

"Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born", and, "Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first".

In keeping with my never-ending quest to disturb the PC crowd, and in keeping with my new-found desire to at least try to understand their mind-set, let me run the following scenario by you. This is not, I'm sure, an original idea, nor am I trying to advocate anything here. I am simply trying to promote dialogue and possibly see if anyone on the left can catch the lack of logic. I seriously doubt it, but it should be fun to try!

The left has historically been in favor of legalized abortion. They believe abortion should be the right of the woman to choose, it is her body, and she should have the freedom to make decisions about her own body without the government stepping in with laws to the contrary. Never mind there is the death of a human being involved. So, where's the logic? Doesn't seem to matter.

The left has historically been against legalized prostitution. They have held that prostitution is wrong EVEN THOUGH it is the right of the woman to choose, it is her body, and she should have the freedom to make decisions about her own body. But NOW, they say, the government SHOULD step in with laws to the contrary. Never mind there is NO death of a human being involved. So, where's the logic? Doesn't seem to matter.

Of course, this is a very ridiculous analogy. It is sophistry through and through. It is just what it is meant to be, and nothing more. A quick peek through the window of the liberal mind-set and what makes it tick. So, where's the logic? Doesn't seem to matter.

Holy Scripture tells us that taking a human life is wrong. A sin. The PC'rs don't seem to make that connection. Holy Scripture also tells us that prostitution is a sin, and this time they are all over it. So, where's the logic? Doesn't seem to matter.

Random Rants

Massachusets lawmakers have decided to adjourn until after the November elections rather than deal with a bill regarding same sex marriage. Bunch of weenies!

Georgia's new law regarding photo ID cards for voters was struck down by two judges as unfair. So, all you need to vote is to show up with a utility bill (anyone's would do, I guess, who would know?), or a laundry ticket or whatever. That'll sure stop voter fraud in its tracks! Anyone care to guess if the judges are liberal or conservative? PC is alive and well in Georgia!

North Korea is in serious trouble now! The all-powerfull United Nations has imposed their dreaded sanctions on them for test firing rockets. Y'all remember how that brought Saddam Hussein to his knees, don't you? Right!

And finally, Newt Gingrich was right on the money, once again, when he chided the folks at the G-8 Summit for issuing a statement urging Israel to use restraint in dealing with the low-life Hezbollah for kidnapping two of their soldiers and attacking their country for no apparent reason. Can you imagine the response had we been told to 'cool it' after 9/11? One more ridiculous case of global PC!

Condi Come Home

Hey, Condoleeza, come home, girl! As they say here in Tennessee, 'We ain't got a dog in that fight'! Israel does not need interference from anyone. They can handle this on their own, as they have proven many times in the past. In fact, it would no doubt be a good thing for the Hezbollah and other terrorist groups to see retaliatory action that is not hampered by political correctness.

The Israelis certainly know how to fight a war to win, and win it they will if we will just stay out of their way. We could, and should, learn a great deal from them on how to deal with terrorism. In fairness, I should point out that they don't have to coddle the Kennedys, Kerrys, Pelozis and the rest of the PC crowd. They just go out and kick butt!

Had we not meddled in middle-eastern affairs over the years, the Palestinians, and assorted other terrorist groups, would have learned the necessity to co-exist with Israel instead of continuing to kill innocent men, women and children with their cowardly attacks. And we, through our mis-guided policies, have emboldened them. They know we have historically stepped in to control Israel when total retaliation was in order, and they have played that fact to their advantage.

Can we ever learn not to stick our 'politically correct nose' in where it is not needed? I seriously doubt it!

Welcome to Dougie Rants!

Dougie enters cyberspace. I publish "Dougie Rants" weekly in the Rutherford Reader, a popular weekly shopping paper in the county. I also send a weekly email to my friends (and sometimes foes) with my views on the world. My beliefs are conservative, based on my own common sense and the teachings of Jesus Christ. I hope you plan to come here often! I will try to keep you entertained, informed, and otherwise confused.