Humor alert! Humor alert! Humor alert! That should get the 'secular progressives' pretty well worked up without another word! It seems they don't like, or don't get, my sense of humor. Or both! Don't care!
Further disclaimer: This is NOT a true story, it is a JOKE!
There is a rally for liberals, and the crowd is entirely liberal with the exception of one little old lady who is totally, completely conservative. Working the crowd, the man hosting the event yells, "How many liberals do we have here?", and the crowd went ballistic, hollering and screaming. Total excitement. The people were in a frenzy. All except the little, conservative lady who, by happenstance, was sitting 'front row' in front of the podium, quietly composed. Of course, the host, not seeing a positive response, singled her out, and asked, "Madam, are you not a liberal?" She proceeded to stare him in the eye, and with total indignance, replied, "No, I happen to be a life-long conservative, and I'm proud of it!" The man then asked, "And, just WHY are you a conservative?" She replied, "My daddy was a conservative, my grand-daddy was a conservative, and so I am also a conservative." To which he replied, "Madam, may I ask, if your daddy was an idiot, and your grand-daddy was an idiot, THEN what would you be?" Her answer, "Why THEN sir, I would be a liberal!"
End of joke!