Monday, May 14, 2007

Churrrr, Churrrr, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck !!!

OH MY GOD! I have just realized I am a liberal! This simply cannot be! How will I live with this? How CAN I live with this? This is terrible! How can I tell my friends? How can I tell those who perceive me as a card carrying conservative? A charter member of the vast right wing conspiracy? OH, WOE IS ME!

You might be thinking, at this point, okay, cut the crap. And you would be right to do so. I was just funnin' with you. But let me 'splain:

A few years ago my wife and I started feeding the birds, squirrels, and rabbits in our back yard. We live in the city, in an older subdivision, and have many mature trees in our back yard. It is a very peaceful yard, with comfortable (good word) landscaping and foliage. The wildlife seems to enjoy it, just as we do.

We have a squirrel with half a tail we call Stumpy. He has been a part of our family for almost three years now, and he is the mayor of the back yard. We keep track of the different species of birds that visit us on a regular basis in our trusty "Birds of Tennessee" hand book. Thirty one species at this writing, from the diminutive humming bird to the Cooper hawk. He, by the way, has an affinity for our mourning doves and our beautiful Eurasion collared doves. We don't like it, but it's a part of nature and hawks have to eat, too.

The little rascals will certainly let us know when the feeders are empty. They will push the seed containers off the arbor and onto the ground when they become empty. They will become loud in their call for more seed and corn. Almost belligerent. Two mornings ago we were sitting in the den drinking coffee, and a rabbit actually came to the top patio step and looked through the glass door to see why he hadn't had his breakfast yet. This is absolutely true.

Today the feeders were empty. A red-bellied woodpecker, who obviously has become too dependent on the free feed at hand to fend for himself, flew from feeder to feeder, chiding me quite loudly that it was time to eat. 'Bang my beak into a tree? Not on your life, big boy'! Churrrrr, churrrr, chuck, chuck chuck. Time for me to do my job and feed him. Now! So, I dutifully filled the feeders to capacity. I filled the bird baths with water, and then it hit me:

I am a liberal. I am the government. They are the citizens. Our little back yard is the Nation. We are like a little Country! In the beginning they would come here, and they would work for their food and they would survive. But I have supplied sustenance to these little creatures until they no longer care to fend for themselves. Why should they go out and forage for food and water when all they have to do is show up at Dougie's house and collect the hand-outs? And, now they expect it!

Yes, I am the government. Yes, they are the citizens. They have come to expect their entitlements, and they do not expect to work for them. My seed bills continue to spiral out of control. I can no longer balance the seed budget. I am running a deficit, but there is no one to tax. Sound familiar?

2 comments:

Your good friend, Larry said...

It's hard for me to accept this analogy, but rather than get into any lengthy dispute about its validity, let me just say that if being a conservative means it's OK to care for needy animals but not needy humans (for whatever reason), than I certainly have no desire to ever be considered a conservative.

Dougie said...

Larry,
Actually, it was meant to be a very tongue-in-cheek comparison to the way our government operates. Nothing more. I never said, nor do I believe, that we should not take care of the needy. I couldn't find anything in the piece that would bring you to perceive that I was against helping people, and you know me well enough to know better. I do believe, however, that there is a certain element in our society that abuses the system. If I am wrong for thinking that, then so be it.
Doug